John Gaccione

12/08/18

Hark! Midwinter will soon be upon us. The approach of the winter solstice signals it is time again for headquarters’ review of our many accomplishments for the year. 

The faithful have scored numerous successes. So many in fact, we don’t have space to list them all. With that in mind, here are several of the more robust highlights as we continue to sow the “Put Kensington First” gospel.

At the beginning of the year the ever-vigilant faithful were the only citizens ringing alarm bells in the face of a perceived crime wave plaguing our tranquil hillside village. Many skeptics claimed there was no real evidence of a crime wave. But the faithful were unmoved. Why the KPPCSD Board didn’t hire more police officers to combat the crime wave is still something of a mystery for the faithful. Go figure.

Undoubtedly the Board’s reluctance to hire additional police was part of their continuing scheme to disband our traditional independent police force. They wish to contract for police services with another municipality, like the dreaded El Cerrito for example. Isn’t it why the Board hired the Matrix Group to study our police department? But who needs yet another study to tell us what we already know. The correct solution is to keep what we already have. Why can’t it just be like it used to be, dag nabbit!

One of the year’s big success stories was the attack directed at the Matrix Group’s report results. The faithful mounted a mighty effort to spread doubt about the methodologies Matrix used to produce their report, and to de-legitimize the Matrix Group’s expertise as well. The creation, publication and the distribution of the anonymous “Kensington Independent” mailers was one of the crude but effective tools used in the attack. It skewed the issues and helped derail the drive toward contracting for police services. Who needs facts when fiction works this well!

Headquarters orchestrated the faithful’s performances at the Matrix Report presentation meeting and managed to shape the response against contracting. Aided by the “Keep Our Police Independent” lawn sign infestation, headquarters deftly created what appeared to be a groundswell of community objection to contracting. As a result, contracting for police services will be limited. Best-case scenario might be finding a city interested in only contracting for records or property storage.   

Then came the recent election to fill several vacant seats on the KPPCSD Board. The faithful mounted a campaign and ran three candidates for the board. One of the candidates had previously run in a board election but was not successful. The other two candidates had little to no public service experience and few relevant accomplishments. 

Two candidates ran as a slate and adopted old guard positions as their own. Inexplicably only one won a seat on the board. The good news for the faithful is the winning candidate is in robust “lockstep” with headquarters. Can I get a witness?

“When we become negative and ungrateful, it is important to remember…we have met the enemy; and he is us.” (Walt Kelly/Pogo)

Putting Pettifoggery First in K-burg like way before 2008.