John Gaccione

10/04/19

Subject: Have a House Party!

From: The Executive Steering & Entertainment Committee

By overwhelming popular demand we are bringing back an exciting concept first launched during our dynamic KPPCSD 2018 campaign.

The concept; “Have A House Party!”

There is no better way to get up close and personal than throwing a house party. We guarantee you will not go home disappointed. Who knows, if enough of the faithful get behind the concept the originator might attempt another run for the KPPCSD board.

Purveyors of “Have A House Party!” never fail to please while spinning their own brand of fear and apprehension via tons of misinformation. You will undoubtedly be glued to your seat with anxiety and loving it! Preserving your own independent local boutique police force has never been this much fun!

Here are some provocative topics to start the ball rolling and get your house party off to a blazing start. Remember, misinformation and getting the faithful stirred up and ready for action is the point.

– Contracting means an immediate payment of $16 – $24 million CalPERS liability!!

– With contracting we would be in a dependent relationship with no negotiating power and continually rising costs. Oh dear.

– What will the KPPCSD Board do without a Police Dept., just manage the services for trash and the park? Good heavens.

– Contracting would leave us ripe for annexation by the dreaded El Cerrito whereupon Kensington would cease to exist, as we know it.

– If we lose Kensington, El Cerrito officials will be making our decisions for us. Do you really think they’re going to lose sleep over what happens up in the hills?

– All this could happen quickly and there would be no going back! …Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!

Wouldn’t you want to get invited to this party? Who knew having a house party could turn Kensington into Armageddon? Can I get an amen?

“It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to…” (Lesley Gore)

Keeping K-burg’s house party blazing till the cows come home since 2008

Note: For those who might still be wondering, yes this is satirical.