Date: 01/12/2024
Subject: Consider Cannabis
From: The Memo Desk

The Kensington Police Protection Community Services District needs money to finance a host of projects, the most critical need is funding a new home for the Kensington Police Department. Hopefully, their new home will be located in Kensington, no more KPD located in the dreaded El Cerrito. Oh, happy day!

A new opportunity has arisen. As you know, the State of California has decided cannabis is legal for both medicinal and recreational use. And starting this year employers in California can’t ask workers about their use of cannabis outside the workplace. Could these new laws provide an opportunity for the KPPCSD to monetize these new developments?

Presently, cannabis use is popular with seniors as a pain reducer and sleep aid. Folks dealing with cancer also find using cannabis can provide some relief as well. Given this situation, what if the KPPCSD was to create a private cannabis/health club for Kensingtonian seniors? Membership fees would be commensurate with the very unique services being offered. Without a doubt, money would soon start flowing into the KPPCSD’s bank account.

There could be a host of activities tailored to serve Keningtonians of a certain age seeking a unique experience in our beloved park. Bespoke activities such as afternoon tea with magic brownies, hands-on classes for cooking with cannabis and associated health tips. The unused amphitheater section behind the community center could be transformed into an outdoor vaping lounge. Viewing sites on the park hillsides could be fitted with comfortable lounge chairs and shade structures to enhance the cannabis experience. Like…OMG how cool!

Historically this is not the first time the KPPCSD has had to consider unorthodox cannabis related use. During the reign of the old unrepentant KPD, objections arose when a resident was presented with a pot laced brownie made from cannabis taken from the evidence storage. There were also accounts of cannabis and other items disappearing from the unsecured evidence storage area (…yipes!).

But this is nothing like that. This is about monetizing assets of the KPPCSD and finding ways to maximize the potential of these assets to provide money making opportunities for the district. Can I get a hit?

“Of course I know how to roll a joint.” (Martha Stewart)

Note: Satire alert; Caution, saving Kensington’s future could involve inhaling.