Subject: Untapped Revenue Stream
Date: 05/08/2023
From: The Financial Desk

The Kensington Police Protection & Community Services District is financially stressed. How can the KPPCSD generate monies to pay for a new home, upgrade equipment and improve services without increasing taxes?

Colusa Avenue runs through the Western edge of our sovereign hillside village. Arlington Avenue runs through the center of our serene sovereign village. These two major arteries connect the Republic of Berkeley with the dreaded El Cerrito. For years both municipalities have taken advantage of our sovereign hillside village’s police and fire services. Isn’t it time they pay their fair share?

Toll roads are the bold new modern answer.

Independent Kensington doesn’t need to wait for the County to put such a bold plan in place. The KPPCSD needs a solution to its financial short fall now. If we are going to save Kensington’s future, the district needs a reliable income stream. After all, are we not “thought leaders”?

With the modern electronic technology available today, establishing a toll road could be quick and easy. At peak commute hours electronic sensors embedded in the roadway would identify non-Kensingtonians and they would be billed electronically. In a matter of days funds would be rolling in to the KPPCSD’s bank account. Like mana from heaven!

Forget about complicated time-consuming and expensive schemes like consolidation ($50,000 – 75,000 for a MSR & $10,000 – 15,000 for application fees) to solve the District’s financial woes. Besides the financial benefits, with toll roads we would see a dramatic increase in the respect for stop signs at Colusa Circle and the speed limit of 25 mph along Arlington Avenue. All without taking police officers away from their primary duty of protecting taxpayers. Yes, to that.

Once the plan is operational, the KPPCSD would have the funds to build a new state-of-the-art police building, update the fleet of police vehicles, provide competitive salaries and maintain our sacred Kensington Park up to the standards expected by all Kensingtonians.

Who would have guessed the modern miracle of toll roads would be the answer to all of the KPPCSD’s financial short comings. Can I get a resident’s ID tag?

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” (Yogi Berra)

Note: Satire alert, the road to Kensington’s salvation may take a few detours.