K-town @ Risk / Memo to the 370 Club Faithful
John Gaccione
12/08/19
Subject: New @ Risk Web Site
From: The Executive Steering / Marketing Committee
This just in! The faithful’s new righteous web site is up and live.
The site’s big message is that without the KPD, Kensington may cease as a town the faithful know and love. The challenge is helping residents understand the faithful’s vision of what is at risk.
Think of the site as a web version of the “Kensington Independent”. It’s big on opinions and a little loosey goosey on facts. “We can not claim journalistic accuracy for every detail on this site”, it blithely confesses.
Everything went to hell in a hand basket when the faithful’s candidates didn’t get elected and the current board majority took office in 2017. Holy Ned!
The faithful fervently believe many members of the current board fomented rumors, created instability and untenable working conditions while exaggerating the “troubles” of the department. The faithful believe the current board majority is responsible for all of the district’s past, present and future “troubles”, period.
The board majority blessed the forced resignation of a long-standing sainted staff member leaving only one lone board member as the faithful’s asset. Doubtlessly, the board rascals are also responsible for the parade of interim police chiefs since 2015.
Some may conclude that there has been a deliberate attempt to cripple the department, its officers and staff. Clearly, the wily devil has been working overtime.
One theory suggests there is a minority group of residents in Kensington that may be interested in seeing the KPD contract with the dreaded El Cerrito for police services. Or God forbid, have Kensington annexed by the dreaded El Cerrito flatlanders.
Can the end-of-days be far off?
A nonbeliever might ask, does helping Kensington residents understand the risks require believing cockamamie theories? Can I get an amen?
“If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.” (Neil Simon)
Note: Beware of the risk of exposure to satiric material contained within this post.