03/17/19

John Gaccione

New directive from Headquarters addressing the faithful’s continuing crusade to hold on to our independent locally controlled private police force.

The Executive Steering Committee has compiled a helpful list of authorized positions to launch our spring campaign. Code name for the campaign is “The Brotherhood”. It’s in robust lockstep with our core “Foundational Values”.

Speaking of “Foundational Values”, our new spring campaign amplifies many of the faithful’s strengths and unique talents. “The Brotherhood” campaign will continue to put forth such successful strategies as the following:

Claim our independent local private police department is the reason we have a low crime rate. Residents don’t pay close attention to police issues. Leverage that and project an air of assumed authority proclaiming hiring a new Chief of Police will solve all police problems, past, present and future. 

The Executive Steering Committee has purged the term “consolidation” in reference to combining the KPPCSD and the KFD. The new term from now forward is “Joint Powers Authority”. If our scheme prevails a huge payday awaits.

The faithful need to step up their practice of vilifying the present board. Question and contest every decision they make. The faithful can’t simply rely on our one lone asset on the board to sow dissension, chaos and misinformation.

Always introduce the specter of the community’s vulnerability to crime and/or the loss of real estate values. Cite any manner of survey and/or statistic to bolster your claim, no matter how out of date, skewed or inconsequential. 

Soon our community will be graced by yet another edition of our notorious publication, the “Kensington Independent”. Disregard naysayers who pilloried our previous efforts. We might even have an editor this time! Will miracles never cease?

Officer Foley’s fumble at the Matrix meeting unfortunately didn’t come off as well as we hoped. He might have overplayed his hand, but it is still fixable. Provoking the GM and then making a citizen’s arrest was manna from heaven. Can I get a witness?

And finally, don’t worry about the CLETS abuse charges. The faithful have brought back disgraced ex-COP Hart to gloss over the 9 CLETS charges and explain away everything. He’s still in debt to us for the extended contract, enhanced perks and the travel benefits we gave him, so be ye not afraid. 

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” (Albert Einstein)

Keeping K-ville Safe for Foundational and Real Estate Values since 2008