John Gaccione

6/24/16

New directive from headquarters, as we approach the upcoming elections it is imperative that we stay on message and control the issues. Listed below are your new talking points.

When referencing to Mr. Hart always address him as “The Chief”. No need to use “interim” or “general manager”, he is “The Chief”.

Forget about the missing front license plate thing for now, we need to give it a rest. Because unfortunately it looks like some of the district staff’s cars do not have front license plates. Deflect the issue by saying “don’t you think they should release the IA report”, then quickly change the subject.

This one is a biggie. Vanessa Cordova is responsible for all the excessive legal fees incurred by the district. Keep repeating she is responsible for all the excessive legal fees. It’s all her fault. She made the board spend the money.

Push upholding “core community values”. That’s right, no more using vindictive lawsuits, personal attacks, character assassination and slander. Instead, be sure to emphasize how lucky we are to be living in our quaint hillside village.

Don’t engage when the discussion turns to Harman, Reno, Barrow, the Berkeley stop, suing residents, the garbage contract or false budget numbers. The residents seem to be somewhat sensitive about these topics. Best to say something like, “that’s all in the past, let’s move forward”.

Remember to always state your professional occupation such as, lawyer, scientist, lawyer, insurance salesman… and did I mention lawyer? It gives your comments much more weight and credibility even when they are based on shaky propositions, short-term thinking and cherry picked facts.

Never criticize our locally controlled police force, instead always provide a heart-warming story of police service. No one wants to hear their well-paid public employees are providing less than professional services. If someone presses the point about generous salaries, say something like “after all, the police get paid a little more then I pay my gardener “.

Remember the election season will be upon us in no time so we need to keep repeating these themes to channel the dialogue and control the message.

Let’s all pitch in to help make Kensington great again!